deepundergroundpoetry.com
ivory kiss
Mist embraced the clearing in the forest of the forgotten
Fires like wardens around the darkgreen pond
The cold of the night creeps along the old bushes up up the bony branches
Birds songs from outside quenched by the tears soaked moss
Damp silence fills the space between the old trees
A shimmer a glitter in the water
Like the rays of sun your hair
Floating with the rhythm of my tears
Your ivory skin reflecting the moon light
The clearing glows like our souls did once
Because of me you joined the water fairies
Because I loved myself more than you
You braid your pain between the flowers
Bind a wreath of loss
I made you the queen of loneliness.
Ophelia,
My heart turned to stone
And all I want is a last kiss from your white ivory lips.
Fires like wardens around the darkgreen pond
The cold of the night creeps along the old bushes up up the bony branches
Birds songs from outside quenched by the tears soaked moss
Damp silence fills the space between the old trees
A shimmer a glitter in the water
Like the rays of sun your hair
Floating with the rhythm of my tears
Your ivory skin reflecting the moon light
The clearing glows like our souls did once
Because of me you joined the water fairies
Because I loved myself more than you
You braid your pain between the flowers
Bind a wreath of loss
I made you the queen of loneliness.
Ophelia,
My heart turned to stone
And all I want is a last kiss from your white ivory lips.
Published 28th Aug 2014
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
28th Aug 2014 5:56pm
Lovely composition filled with poignant feelings...good read RED, write on!
Since you asked for honest critique, I would like to point out some spelling errors:
"Floating with the rythm of my tears" [should be rhythm]
"Because of me you joined the water faries" [do you mean fairies?]
Do you mean to repeat up in:
"The cold of the night creeps along the old bushes up up the bony branches"
(Sometimes the way we spelled words can mean a different meaning to what we intend to project, that's why I find it a must to have words spelled correctly.)
@EngrVV
Since you asked for honest critique, I would like to point out some spelling errors:
"Floating with the rythm of my tears" [should be rhythm]
"Because of me you joined the water faries" [do you mean fairies?]
Do you mean to repeat up in:
"The cold of the night creeps along the old bushes up up the bony branches"
(Sometimes the way we spelled words can mean a different meaning to what we intend to project, that's why I find it a must to have words spelled correctly.)
@EngrVV
28th Aug 2014 6:26pm
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 10:07pm
28th Aug 2014 8:44pm
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