Pirate Pete

PIRATE PETE
By Just Love Me
(c) September 20, 2013

Now Pirate Pete was Captain of a sailing pirate ship
He had a wooden leg that was fastened at the hip.
And every time he went to sea and sailed the ocean blue
He'd leave the port and harbour with a whole new bunch of crew.
Now I just so happened, to come upon the scene
As he recruited sailors inexperienced and green
I asked if I could ride along on this little trip
To see what things were really like aboard a pirate ship,
So Pirate Pete he says to me, "Sure, come up on board"
And so I clambered up the rope to join the sailing horde.
Before we pulled up anchor and set upon the sea
Pirate Pete called us all - the other mates and me.
"Now listen here to me, every member and each mate
If we don't catch the high tide waves we will be too late
To make our destination which is a desert isle
And if we miss the wave, we will sit here for a while.
So take up your positions - take them up real smart
And when that first wave hits, 'tis then we make our start."
So every member of the crew - those old and them that's new
Manned their stations round the ship knowing what to do
And when the first wave hit, the ship did bob and weave
And headed for the open sea as harbour it did leave.
Once out upon the water, sailing under the open sky
The crew began to think about potato chips and pie.
They all began to grumble from the mighty to the meek
"We haven't had a bite to eat and we are getting weak."
Sound of the grumbling soon reached the Captain's ear
"A mutiny already - oh this I greatly fear."
In an attempt to quickly prepare his crew a meal
Pirate Pete left the deck, to the galley he did steal.
He found a stash of tins and other kinds of food
And set about preparing to change the whole crews' mood.
Around about the galley, Pirate Pete did quickly dash
He emptied this and added that to form some kind of mash.
He put the stuff all in a pot and put it on to heat
"I hope the crew will like it," said himself to Pirate Pete.
While the First Mate kept the ship all right and steady
Pirate Pete appeared on the deck, "Your meal, she is all ready."
And so the Mate and all the crew made their way below
For they were very hungry you most certainly must know
The stuff Pirate Pete had cooked was stinky and was thick
Before the crew could eat it, they started feeling sick -
They staggered back up the stairs, on to the main deck
And managed to save the ship before on rocks it wrecked.
With the noisy clanking of the chains, the anchor it was dropped
And just within a nick of time the little ship was stopped.
And the mainsails all went limp as the wind it up and died
"What are we now to do?" the ships's Mate and crew all cried.
Looking at the problem Pete said "Just leave it up to me
I'll come up with a solution, just you wait and see."
The Mate and crew were hungry and were very spent
As back down to the galley Pirate Pete then went.
He found a case of uncooked beans, oh don't you know
And with some flour he mixed up a bowl of pastry dough.
He put the beans in pastry shells without a real cookbook
And stuck them in the oven and left them there to cook.
Soon the things were ready and cool enough to eat
And so he took them up on deck to give his men a treat.
The goodies soon were all gone, they liked them he could tell.
The crew was all soon in pain, their tummies began to swell
Stomach aches and rumblings they did very soon begin
And soon each member of the crew set in to cutting wind.
To set out across the seven seas the little ship then starts
As sails billow full, powered by the wind from bean tart farts