How to Spot a Pervert

•      We are masters and mistresses of disguise, and most adept at looking normal.
•      We have excellent eyesight, might still wear glasses, and may or may not have mentally undressed you, while looking you straight in the eyes and without you knowing.
•      We are highly fashion conscious, and dress so badly we neither make statements nor try to be ahead of our time.
•      We are experts in the bedroom; however this only applies to the subtle moving and positioning of furniture.
•      We are great lovers of food and can cook, eat and drink, all in the one kitchen; but we are not gastronomes - that would be showing off.
•      We prefer our own cars to buses and trains. In our own cars we can pick our noses in private.
•      We know about art, including films, music and painting, but we don’t always get it.
•      We are inherently lazy creatures, and prefer watching TV and sleeping to anything else.
•      We like libraries, because the books are usually quiet.
•      We detest public toilets - they are impossible to find and inevitably by the time we get there, we have a new traumatic experience to share with our psychologists.
•      We have families and friends who we don’t really know and who don’t really know us, and that’s probably just as well.
•      We are incredibly shallow people with deep thoughts, strong hearts and weak minds.
•      We are natural cowards who go places we shouldn’t and feel more than we should.
•      We are not nice, but those closest to us think we are. Fools – at least we share that in common.
•      We aim to be strange, but not different, and often just settle for weird.
•      We are everybody and we are nobody, except for those times when we’re somebody in between.
•      We are actually impossible to find, unless you’re one of us too.