i am

      

i am by myself for needs sake
i will no longer watch out for more than one shadow
i am high on loneliness and drifting long
i am hurting because it is my most receptive sense
my pain is the best tool i have to pacify my pain
i bleed to satisfy and validate the sentiment

my mind has been reinfected with the darkness
my words are rising fail tainted and pointless
and once again i find tears to be the only way
to truly communicate my heart

but there will be no tears

my sadness it appears
is inwardly borne and retasked daily
i fight myself calm each night
and self medicate every day

i reach out only to keep the world from coming to me

my weaknesses remind me that there are
many cliff edge bends on the roads i travel
so for now i must remain wrapped in my fear
i am afraid because i know my demons
they are deft scavengers with silent wings
and know well how close i am to falling

i am running as a remedy for the present
and when i am too tired to run i will dream
i will dream to seduce reality into
believing that it is not my only truth
truth should not represent fear

i am only afraid because i know i should be

i am already too tired to run
i am falling down and my eyes are closing
so i will dream that there is a place
where i can feel how i want to feel as they tear
my flesh from bone and release me of my mind

i dream so i have a place to be when i need to be
i dream by desire and necessity
i dream to be anywhere but in here with me