Feelings

Dreamlike the journey to adulthood
To me came unprepared
To say good things about my mood
Will be a lie so clear

To purpose I strive on tireless
For what I can achieve on my own
But onto nothing I press
Save for an ego over blown

Yet dreaming through decades now gone
Holding onto nothing to show
What once stood for brilliance and wisdom
Has lost it's inner glow

A forced instinct of survival
Pushing a soul that wants to end
This being not known to revival
Deep down to ashes descend

I'd wanted all that heavens offer
All the blessings that sets one free
But to grasp I wreck and suffer
In my self-made prison be

Shackled down by desires
My soul can hardly attain
The stiffness not altered by fire
Not cowed by my pain

Yet secretly I fear
Not seeing a moment ahead
Not knowing what's waiting out there
My hopes draw close to dead

Watching out in the darkest night
To see that spinning disc
Making a wish will be alright
And picking a way to risk

Childish dreams are prodded away
Grown thoughts are taking over
Upon what was another encroached and stayed
Wild like a possessed lover

And there is nothing wrong to aspire
To dream of heavens beyond
To build castles far higher
And make every weakness strong

Like all by events we are overtaken
Kept within a limit drawn
A timed specimen only awakened
For a moment and then is gone

I search for ways to follow
Switch places now and then
But all is abstract hollow
From starting to the end

Man in his highest moment
When things go his peaceful way
Would not withhold lovely comments
Neither curse and swear

To the heart we know elation
Like water to a desert land
But when you reverse the situation
You would probably understand

Why the face is twisted in a frown
Why from joy a soul withdraws
To loneliness gloomy down
Not looking into the scroll

Is it too big to want to experience
A taste of heaven here on earth
But does it make any difference
Our common destiny is death

Yet we stagger not in carrying on
Like we are promised tomorrow
The sun sets a new day dawns
Happiness gloom and sorrow

It's a circle of endless mysteries
We die not knowing why we lived
At peace I simply can't be
I look around and grieve

Impetuous desires once flitted
My eyes went wide with hope
But once my aim was defeated
It was hard to give it up

I've held unto a dream this long
A dream I cannot near
Thus to darkness I am plunged
With everything to fear

The world goes cold in anger
And everyone is stuck
Opportunities come with danger
All simply counts on luck

They say my destiny is in my hand
But I gaze into an empty palm
Not seeing from where I stand
What really makes me a man

For animals need not worry
About what tomorrow holds
They play graze and merry
No aftermath for their soul

Success is not guaranteed
By simply being wise
A soul that is worry-filled
Has already seen demise

So I try to define reality
As what it simply is
We are made to lust after vanity
And then travel with the breeze