The Request

If I am to stay here in this form of continued waiting, should I not be allowed to request how that time is spent Dear Sir. I think it would be most kind of you, and the only kindness that will be asked from the man who holds my future in the balance. To give me just this one courtesy would give my heart so much happiness when you see that my choices to continue to exist in this manner are most dissatisfactory. I long to have this time go as quickly as possible, without regard to have to be present in the day to day torture that remains for me here if I am to be awake to it.

My request is this: An induced coma. That I may finally catch up on my sleep. My breathing and my heart can go back to a perfect form of function. To allow my blood to flow in a smooth river through my veins. That tears will no longer fall uselessly around me but let my eyes become the perfect pool for my visions to swim in. To dream the most fabulous dreams, and encounter the most beautiful places and people. I can perhaps, even possibly find my one true love. Who I am sure has been searching for me if only in a dream. To know that kind of pleasure, Dear Sir, would be so much better than to have never had it at all.

The papers before you tell you nothing as to what I have been through. They truly offer you nothing about my life. If you had only a glimpse into what my world has been, you would allow me this one favor without any question, I assure you. Leaving me like this now, in a state of waiting without peace, is a prison sentence I am not sure I can continue to endure. I can only beseech you to honor me this for the well being of my heart which cannot afford any more punishment, and why should it? I see kindness in your eyes, and I know it is not your will to have me suffer…so, what say you?