What do I do?

When you look at me you see the sun shining so bright,
That it feels like you will be blinded by the light…
When I look at myself all I see is someone who is different from all the rest,
I am my self no one else,
When I look at you I see something that is bright but dark at the same time,
I am not blinded by the light but by the darkness that doesn’t let me see,
What is truly in front of me…
The blackness that surrounds me is to dark for me to even look into your eyes,
I search for your arms or anything to know that your there,
I grasp something but it’s only air,
You call my name for me to find you,
Yet when I am close to your voice it feels like your miles away,
I see a light shining but it’s not from you,
The light is behind me…
What should I do?