deepundergroundpoetry.com
May Beauty weed the Riverbed (revision)
Brothers stand together,
by the river of red, native blood to shed.
Brothers born to their families
to their countries
and to their debt.
Maturing strong, through the tiling of their sills
to feed from the fresh and healthy bread.
Brothers, they’re alive together.
Grow to young men
of their duty
preparing for war.
Brothers, swear to their land and die
to protect it further.
Their blood returned to their streams
and the rivers flow still.
Their debt paid
to feed the healthy grain again.
Fathers turn from their sons
those sons, become Fathers,
and they too, turn from theirs.
The River will flow
and the bread will grow strong again.
Through the river-red rain
even the beautiful flowers grow.
They’ll feed off the same bread
draw from the river-bed
grow prettier still
and die all the same.
by the river of red, native blood to shed.
Brothers born to their families
to their countries
and to their debt.
Maturing strong, through the tiling of their sills
to feed from the fresh and healthy bread.
Brothers, they’re alive together.
Grow to young men
of their duty
preparing for war.
Brothers, swear to their land and die
to protect it further.
Their blood returned to their streams
and the rivers flow still.
Their debt paid
to feed the healthy grain again.
Fathers turn from their sons
those sons, become Fathers,
and they too, turn from theirs.
The River will flow
and the bread will grow strong again.
Through the river-red rain
even the beautiful flowers grow.
They’ll feed off the same bread
draw from the river-bed
grow prettier still
and die all the same.
Published 27th Jul 2014
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27th Jul 2014 4:30pm
Oh, damn you, anyway, Euan, luv :-* ~
I read this bloody poem last night when you first put it up, decided not to comment, read it again, read it another time, reread it, here I am reading it another time... I know, I'll read it yet another before I'm through here too, at least.
So, why? Is it this haunting lyric you've got running through it of inevitability and a cycle informed by seasons of war and peace, birth and death, harvest and sowing? Is it the underlying idea that perhaps what seems so inevitable doesn't have to be?
What's so inevitable about the war part of this equation anyway? Surely human evolution dictates decline and eventual obsolescence of such a thing?
I don't precisely know why, but I think I am beginning to see this: you are finding some peace. I'm glad. It's uneasy this peace, but it's coming. It's time. I'm glad, luv. :-*
I read this bloody poem last night when you first put it up, decided not to comment, read it again, read it another time, reread it, here I am reading it another time... I know, I'll read it yet another before I'm through here too, at least.
So, why? Is it this haunting lyric you've got running through it of inevitability and a cycle informed by seasons of war and peace, birth and death, harvest and sowing? Is it the underlying idea that perhaps what seems so inevitable doesn't have to be?
What's so inevitable about the war part of this equation anyway? Surely human evolution dictates decline and eventual obsolescence of such a thing?
I don't precisely know why, but I think I am beginning to see this: you are finding some peace. I'm glad. It's uneasy this peace, but it's coming. It's time. I'm glad, luv. :-*
28th Jul 2014 3:04am
Sadly, you've missed the mark.
This poem refers to the inevitability of violence, it is seen as nessecary, because it is.
I am not looking for you to spam my comment section consecutively, if you take issue or offence, take it elsewhere.
This poem refers to the inevitability of violence, it is seen as nessecary, because it is.
I am not looking for you to spam my comment section consecutively, if you take issue or offence, take it elsewhere.
28th Jul 2014 3:19am
I apologize, Euan. I did not mean to offend. I will refrain in the future.
I am sorry.
I am sorry.
27th Jul 2014 6:03pm
This was excellent Ink Evan...Written in circle style, the same way these families give.
Quite a bit of Heart and Brutal truth-The way it is!!!
Quite a bit of Heart and Brutal truth-The way it is!!!
27th Jul 2014 11:33pm
extraordinary. values & strength of another time. heroes of a distant day...
28th Jul 2014 6:48pm
I remember reading this, way back when you first put it up, but I can't remember the original in it's entirety. What did you end up revising on it, as compared to the original?
29th Jul 2014 1:35am
Only slight differences between the two, regarding syntax, structure and a hint of punctuation.
I don't know why I bothered posting it, too little changes to matter.
I don't know why I bothered posting it, too little changes to matter.
29th Jul 2014 3:02am
No, it's a good piece, and I was just wondering how much you dug it apart/changed wording, etc. It's nice to compare original to edited version, just to see the differences in how it/they read. :)