(Criticism Wanted)

Cut my wrist?
My skinny brown damaged wrist?

Cut my wrist?
With the blade you planned to use on yourself..?

Cut in deep?
So deep it will turn me on?

Cut in deep?
Deep where i shudder in bliss like i planned in our dreams?

Let the red liquid leak?
Let in sink in deep?

You on top of me?
Holding me closely?

Painting as i'm dying?
Filled with sexual desire?

Bloody arms from the blood...
from my wrist?

Tongues clashing together?
Me in defeat?

Licking the blood off me?
With your wet long tongue?

Slowly down,
Slowly up?

Making love?
As i'm dying?

..Sounds great.