your gone i am gulity but your not hurting anymore

daddy
your gone and all i feel
is so much hurt
hurt i did see you
i didnt get to hug you
i didnt get to take care of you
dad
i said you were not my father
for the longest time
but they knew
you were everything to me
i prayed you
would come back
one day on my birthday
come hang out with me
i prayed
i cried
and it never happened
i understood
that you and mom
just couldnt work out
but why
why could you drop us?
stephen
put a smile on his face
dugan
he was the golden child
but me…
i feel like i was nothing
but some girl
that was in trouble
every single day
daddy
your down were down
but you are now lifted up
your with the angels
daddy
im sorry
im sorry i wasnt there
im sorry it took six years
six years for me to see again
my mother told me
there were good things that you had done
but to me i have one memory
the day we played basketball
but dad
your not here
i can feel guilty
i can cry my eyes out
but that doesnt bring you back
i will not lie to you
i asked god
i prayed two nights before
you passed…
i asked him
please take the suffering away
we know he suffers
i asked god
to please heal him
after the first time his kidney failed
after i heard he was in the hospital
i asked god
to please heal him again
but when i heard
there was nothing
they could do anymore
i asked god
to heal him one more time
but it was different
because i knew once i asked this
i couldnt take it back
i asked for healing from the pain
or take him and let him come home
to you
the next night
i talked to my brother
he reminded me
that i saved your life
six years ago
you would be gone
if i hadnt
but it makes me sad
that you called me a liar
when you said dugan called
my mother while you lay there trying to catch your breath
when i did
Daddy…
you have made mistakes
you have lived your life the best
way saw it should
you loved
you laughed
and you lived
just like we all have
but i am happy your home
your no longer suffering
and i can finally say
you were my dad again
when i could say it for years
and years
because you werent there
but i regret now...
that i wasnt there
when you died
i wasnt there to take care of you
but daddy
im sorry
i am so sorry
i didnt give my last hug
i didnt even come see you
but dad
i do love you
and i am really sorry