deepundergroundpoetry.com
Lasso
The lightning is my strobe light
As I disrobe.
Articles fall.
In cursive lighting
I am found.
Your arms snake
Up my hips and around,
Like a second skin.
Let me wear you out.
The rain unifies
My sixth sense and rationality.
I want you like how
I want that New Year's Resolution
To be my reality.
Let us feel each other
Like how the rain molests
Unsuspecting flowers.
Call me Lotus,
Let me be a Lily,
Give it to me like Roses-
Beautiful,
Dewy,
And thorny.
As I disrobe.
Articles fall.
In cursive lighting
I am found.
Your arms snake
Up my hips and around,
Like a second skin.
Let me wear you out.
The rain unifies
My sixth sense and rationality.
I want you like how
I want that New Year's Resolution
To be my reality.
Let us feel each other
Like how the rain molests
Unsuspecting flowers.
Call me Lotus,
Let me be a Lily,
Give it to me like Roses-
Beautiful,
Dewy,
And thorny.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 1
comments 14
reads 204
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
re: Re: Lasso
11th Jul 2014 4:44pm
Re: Lasso
11th Jul 2014 4:35pm
re: Re: Lasso
11th Jul 2014 4:46pm
Thanks for always taking the time to offer a word of support.
Handsome heart you.
Stay pretty ;)
Handsome heart you.
Stay pretty ;)
Re: Lasso
12th Jul 2014 2:14am
Well, Madi. Your poem has what the entirety of the erotica genre is in dire need of, subtlety and god forsaken metaphoric taste. The abstract metaphors of flowers to intent and the personal touch to the environment are the best lines, I would have liked the opening parts to be a little less didactic but they serve their purpose.
All in, pretty fucking good. The erotica genre needs far more writers like you.
All in, pretty fucking good. The erotica genre needs far more writers like you.
0
re: Re: Lasso
12th Jul 2014 3:39am
Thank you so much for the appraise and constructive criticism. You surely stoked my ego with that!
I hope to see more of your comments so long as I write to your standards.
Azaleas and other things,
Madi
I hope to see more of your comments so long as I write to your standards.
Azaleas and other things,
Madi
re: re: Re: Lasso
12th Jul 2014 3:48am
Hah, absolutely. Nothing wrong with a bit of ego, just don't let it take off for a trip to Prague.
I'd enjoy your comments on my shit too. :-)
I'd enjoy your comments on my shit too. :-)
0
Re: Lasso
Anonymous
12th Jul 2014 9:27pm
"Let us feel each other
Like how the rain molests
Unsuspecting flowers."<--ahhh, so lovely :)
Just the right hint of sexiness! Enjoyed Madi! Xo
Like how the rain molests
Unsuspecting flowers."<--ahhh, so lovely :)
Just the right hint of sexiness! Enjoyed Madi! Xo
0
re: Re: Lasso
12th Jul 2014 9:37pm
Re: Lasso
14th Jul 2014 8:10pm
This a very sexy and erotic write Madi, it evokes sweet pictures in my head. Enjoyed it.
0
Re: Lasso
26th Jul 2014 6:17am
re: Re: Lasso
26th Jul 2014 6:19am
Anonymous
- Edited 16th May 2018 10:06pm
26th Jul 2014 5:48pm
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
- Edited 17th May 2018 3:35pm
28th Jul 2014 4:54pm
<< post removed >>