Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

For as long as I care to remember,
I've been told that I was different,
That something was wrong with me,
And I didn't fit in.

I've been told this so long
And so many, many times
That finally I started to
Internalize it and believe it.

And with the internalization
Came the self-hatred.
The desire to see myself
Fail and to self-destruct.

So did I believe
Their vile brainwashing
That I became depressed
And always on the edge.

When you let the others
Convince you that you
Don't deserve to live
You believe it.

So I push away all
Those who try to love me
Because if I have no reason
To go on living, maybe I won't.

So convinced was I
That I was nothing
But a worthless,
Unlovable failure

That I was sure
I would never see
My hope and dreams
Fulfilled one day.

Instead I would
Eventually destroy myself
Because that was what
They wanted to see.

And once I became
So consumed by the
Self-loathing and hatred
They festered within

I became the
Self-fulfilling prophecy
They promised me
That I would be.

But now before the end
And it grows too late,
I shall break free
Of their chains.

I refuse to be the
Self-fulfilling prophecy
For their amusement
And reclaim my life.

I do this for myself
As much as to spite them,
For if I ever want to be loved,
I must let go of their programming.