Love to Despair

I’m left here to cry over a love that probably wasn’t even real, in the end I always am deserted, left to face the harsh reality that I was never loved, the promises we exchanged with one another are broken and shattered, like the shard of glass that has stabbed me in my tormented and lonely heart, I sit here with my mind processing its sinister thoughts of death, why am I even here? In this world? , I don’t know why , and I wish I had never landed upon this destructive and cold earth , all I do is rot from the inside out until the day comes when I am taken to hell and consumed in a raging fire that never dies , am I afraid of going to hell ? no , because I live in it , this world is no better than that unholy place , war , heartache , murder … what is so great about this forever spinning planet , spinning like a fairground  ride which is bound to make you sick and that’s how I feel at this moment , sick to my stomach, if you wanted to leave you should have told me and not let me go on for months thinking that I was forever loved , because let’s face it , my instinct was right as always , I was and never will be loved , why should I be ? I’m nothing special , and I know that , but to know that all the love and care I gave you never made you happy makes me a failure to love , to life , and to myself , death can come and take me , because then at least I know that there will be no more false pretences , I will forever know I meant nothing , so thank you my love , you have brought me to this pivotal point , so I shall remain here and never be found , and my soul and mind will slowly die and be consumed by these thoughts of anguish  , so thank you.