deepundergroundpoetry.com
Alone...
Alone, lonely, lost, and depressed.
Alone, I'm out of luck and I can't find no one else there to hold my hand.
Alone, upset, and all alone in the dark.
Alone, lost, and nowhere to be found.
Alone, misunderstood and taken as an outcast; no one can hear, but me, myself, and I.
Alone, tired of being alone.
Sweet laughs end up turning into bitter tears that fall to the ground and start a rain storm. Some children may even sing the blues; fallen to your knees at the wrath of the thunder then faint at the cry of the lightning. Alone, I have no one else, but me.
Alone, I'm out of luck and I can't find no one else there to hold my hand.
Alone, upset, and all alone in the dark.
Alone, lost, and nowhere to be found.
Alone, misunderstood and taken as an outcast; no one can hear, but me, myself, and I.
Alone, tired of being alone.
Sweet laughs end up turning into bitter tears that fall to the ground and start a rain storm. Some children may even sing the blues; fallen to your knees at the wrath of the thunder then faint at the cry of the lightning. Alone, I have no one else, but me.
Published 1st Jul 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 1
reads 76
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
30th Aug 2014 9:57pm
MsRockyJackson, luv :-* ~
This poem is touching and forlorn. It resonates deeply inside eliciting terrible melancholy.
It is a difficult poem; the hurt is so real. It is tangible. I feel as though I could reach out and touch it in the air.
I've been here and it's horrid. I've breathed the stench of this pain. That rainstorm is suffocating and acidic, burning agonizingly, luv.
You capture this so well.
Small technical changes to consider: fallen to falling perhaps? And, while cry of lightning sounds good, it might work better as rage of lightning cry of thunder only because lightning is typically silent so there's an incongruity there. Just thoughts to consider...
This is an excellent poem, luv. :-*
This poem is touching and forlorn. It resonates deeply inside eliciting terrible melancholy.
It is a difficult poem; the hurt is so real. It is tangible. I feel as though I could reach out and touch it in the air.
I've been here and it's horrid. I've breathed the stench of this pain. That rainstorm is suffocating and acidic, burning agonizingly, luv.
You capture this so well.
Small technical changes to consider: fallen to falling perhaps? And, while cry of lightning sounds good, it might work better as rage of lightning cry of thunder only because lightning is typically silent so there's an incongruity there. Just thoughts to consider...
This is an excellent poem, luv. :-*
