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The Monster That Lives Inside My Head

The Monster That Lives Inside My Head..
The One That Turns My Tears Blood Red,
The Monster that Takes Over When I Grab The Blade..
It Whispers.."C'mon You Poor Thing..Let Me Take You Away From This"
Just Take The Blade..And I'll Watch You Slowly Fade Away..
The Monster That Lives In My Head....
The One That Turns My Tears Blood Red..
The Monster Says She Can Save Me..
From All The Pain And Sorrow..
The Monster That Lives Inside My Head..
She Says She Can End It All..
The Monster That Lives Inside My Head..
The One That Turns My Tears Blood Red...
Her Whispers Echo In My Ears..While She Whispers To Swallow All My Fears...
"C'mon Just You Poor Thing..Let Me Take You Away From This Place"

Written by Fallen_Angel_194

(Imperfect)

Published 29th Jun 2014

All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.

likes 5 reading list entries 2

comments 6 reads 135

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The author encourages honest critique.

Re: The Monster That Lives Inside My Head

Demonseyesofblood (Ravens Blood)

30th Jun 2014 00:09am

WOW!!! Truly Amazing!!
A wonderful dark write.
I can totally relate
Thanks for sharing.

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Re: The Monster That Lives Inside My Head

cmspitz (Spitz)

30th Jun 2014 00:18am

Found the poem boring. Not even going to sugarcoat it. The repetition did nothing for the poem. The imagery. The delivery (the way you present your poem; style) should have been a little more unique. Not only does it help with getting your feelings out there, but the piece becomes more enjoyable to write. Maybe a unique rhyme scheme, something other than free verse, tell it as though you were a child, create your own style, or other things of that nature. Just a thought.

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Anonymous

- Edited 14th May 2018 5:42pm

30th Jun 2014 2:59am

<< post removed >>

Re: The Monster That Lives Inside My Head

Savaja

- Edited 30th Jun 2014 3:39am

30th Jun 2014 3:34am

Well done. Excellent repetition and rhythm evocative of the dark voices inside us that incite us in the depths of depression. It seems to me as though you are quite familiar with that dark, alluring quagmire. I always say the "easiest" thing in the world is to slide into the depths while the hardest thing is to claw your way out again. It's not easy to actually survive in the depths, but it's certainly easy to slide in there. :-p I know the pain. I don't know yours, but I know mine. You're not alone. :-* There is hope even if it's not presently visible.