June 28th 2014

It's probably 4,5, or 6 right now. I don't feel like looking at a clock.

I just finished the anime Mirai Nikki (future diary). I watched it in two days. Amazing anime. Would never recommend it to anyone new to anime or someone that absolutely hates blood, rape (kinda implied but not implied, and very little is shown and is not sexualized. If anything, the rape scenes were meant to built character, back story and the feels and were also meant to disgust), female nudity (this is not a hentai, so nudity is present but not in large amounts. Also, it just skin and boobs, because it's not a hentai), gore, two men kissing non-romantically for about 2 seconds, sex (again not a hentai so they don't show much), or a mind boggling plot. So yeah, it's very mature. It was so dark and awesome and oh my god. It gives so many mixed signals, and that's what made it amazing. Despite all of the horrible shit that happens, it turns out to be really nicely. I've got no idea about the manga, which I'll read later, but the ending was awesome. Just had to rant about it. I had to put the controversial things in my rant, because I don't want people to watch it then stop watching it because of those reasons. But the disturbing things make the anime. It would be god awful if it was censored anymore.

I walked outside, for the first time in a long time. The was just peeping through the horizon, or rather the building. Almost no cars were about. You could hear birds, it was that quiet. At that time, you only see three kinds of people. People with real jobs, insomniacs, and people doing the walk of shame. People with jobs are in or some sort of transportation, or about to get on one, and  typically look snazzy. Insomniacs look either dead or nearly dead, while wearing dirty clothes and messy hair. People doing the walk look almost the same, but they actually looked ashamed rather than dead. It's so peaceful this early.

Date yesterday. Nice and relaxed. We watched a movie then walked around. About it. But it was fun. She started to notice that I don't eat or sleep often. I wonder if she'll be concerned like the last one. I hope not. I can't control my medicine or my habits. It'll just lead to silent hatred, if she cares about it. I guess I don't like it when someone cares about me. Why is that? Am I even wording it correctly? Is it that I can't see myself being worthy enough to be worried about? Or is it that I hate pity? I don't care nor know anymore.

I may go to sleep soon. That would be nice.

Story time. Back in high school, there was this girl. I could never look her in the eyes for some reason. I don't know why. We barely spoke. But when we did, I would make her laugh for some odd reason. We usually spoke indirectly with each other, if we ever spoke. Funny. Never did we both make eye contact with one another. We also never recognized the other's existence. I'm still not sure why. There are too many reasons. I never learned her name. Best be that way, I guess.