"look within"

Today I felt a thought float in my consciousness
A cement thought
Can I express myself the way I did before.
It came to me so randomly.
I knew the day would come where I felt this feeling fear
A feeling that I relive with each breath I take
A role that has become natural.
Breathing in such a negative dominant emotion is exhausting my mind
Poisonous thoughts leak from my mouth and slowly stabs my dreams in the subconscious
Everything that felt so close to the surface feels like it's anchored to my rock bottoms
Like shackles that have been tied around my ankles
like the many bags that a bag lady carries
Like playing assistant and not having the slightest agenda set up for my own life goals
Just breathing is taking it's toll
Feeling like life has dealt me bad cards in this round of poker
And feeling a bitter taste of wanting to just fold
Did I leave the door open
Feeling life's cold draft
Feeling the feeling of being defeated
Is there a purpose?
Simple question
Is the universe sparing it's ears?
Cause if so I need her to listen...
I'm in valleys when I should be on peaks
And I'm fearing things that only exist in my lakes of desires
lounging in oceans of disappointments
Seizing the moment to steal a pair of ears and release all my sorrows
Borrowing time I can't pay back
Crushing others hopes in the process
Restless nights, inactive days
Seeking a love that I lost within myself
Paving ways with no exact destination
I yell out to the universe
" I need guidance"
"support" and "love"
The universe calmly speaks back to me
"Look within"
I close my eyes let out a tear
Breath up and look at the sky
open my eyes, smile
"look within"
What does it all mean...
"It will all come full circle"