Life Preserved

Life, it broke me,      
far beyond repair.      
My spirit,fashioned of glass.     
Shards of my soul, smashed      
and back to sand and grain.      
I finally let go,      
completely loosening      
my grip on sanity.      
Released/ gone.      
I misplaced my mind for good this time.      
I finally pried my own fingers off of;      
my war with the world,      
what I so desperately thought I knew      
and hope fuelled pain...      
and so I fell.      
Freefalling through      
an uncomfortable,      
unknown and frightening space.      
I fought and mourned what I      
no longer hung onto      
and it tormented me,      
almost to death.      
So as it were,      
at the very last moment      
before I pulled the trigger      
came an abrupt serene stop.        
It shocked me with its peace.      
I was pierced to my almost dead core      
to learn that the universe      
and its perfect chaotic river      
had been waiting      
to catch me up, effortlessly.        
Engulfing me now,      
it washes at my wounds      
and softens my scars.      
It reminds me that I'm okay.      
So intentionally with ease,      
the water has me.      
I no longer wonder      
where I am going     
as the present ride      
is the only arrival      
and always has been.      
The universe it whispers      
in its ancient, infinite      
and all knowledgeable babble,      
"What took you so long to let go, sweet girl?