Kudasai

Winter cold and burning snow grasped the day,
Just a practical day in December.
Bleak winds and icy thoughts blow warmth away.
A day that I shall always remember.
A young girl passes me. She hangs her head.
I find that I cannot remove my eyes.
Roses sprout from her footprints; they are dead.
As I stand I begin to fantasize.
I follow the trail of thorns left behind.
The sharpness of their truths pierce through my feet.
The girl is the only thought in my mind.
I long to see her eyes, woeful and sweet.
We walk slow but the world passes so fast.
Even the gentle snowflakes are a blur.
This girl is now my future, present, past.
Eveything I know revolves around her.
Her red dress dancing in the breeze,
Her long shining, flowing hair is alive.
I fight the urge to fall down on my knees.
I drown in her mere beauty. No, I dive.
The frozen trees enflame when she walks by.
Her dark light blots out the bright, blazing sun.
Evil clouds loom over us in the sky.
All of my fears are wittled down to one:
I cannot lose her. She is only mine.
She stops, turns, and gives a sorrowful grin.
Her smile sends a shiver down my weak spine.
The space between us is becoming thin.
She begins to cry and it grows colder.
I am the only one who understands.
All of her tears make her look much older.
Smiling, she outstretches both of her hands.
In her right she holds the love of a friend.
In her left hand she is holding a knife.
"Choose and bring my suffering to an end,"
She whispers, "Choose and you will save my life."
I take both of her soft hands in my own.
Her touch sends fire through my empty veins.
The blade aches to no longer be alone.
I ease it into her heart. Black blood drains.
Mingling with mine, it eats at my cold heart.
The girl falls to the ground with her sad smile.
And as she dies my whole world falls apart.
Her body falls to a sickening pile.
And now, from her maculate perfection,
I realize as the average, plain girl died,
I was looking at my own reflection,
And I had just watched myself die inside.
I wake from my dream; I watch as she goes.
With or without her, I'd never be whole.
I walk away from her before she knows.
I walk away from her. My life. My soul.
To my other half, I mutter, "Goodbye."
I look back to see it was all a lie.