What I Deserve

That mirror, it taunts, beckons and haunts
tearing my mind apart time after time
I hide with a smile, just for a while
til the pain comes again with horrid revenge
and I cower in shame at the battles I face
knowing there's nothing left to do but pray
but I wonder, how I wonder

is this what I deserve?
an innocent soul tattered and burned
for so long I've hurt
feels like I've suffered all my life with never a moment's rest
I keep reminding my worn strength that someone out there has it worse
but often I lose sight of the blessings in this curse
it's tough but nothing is ever impossible
I'm telling myself it's only meant to make me stronger
even if it's not what i deserve

Each dark night, I dread, white turns to red
stealing my hope away tear after tear
I feign a quick laugh, get them off my back
but the hate tumbles in with a cruel grin
so I lose my way in the dark and the haze
seeing the shadows all over the place
still I wonder, oh I wonder

is this what I deserve?
an innocent soul tattered and burned
for so long I've hurt
feels like I've suffered all my life with never a moment's rest
I keep reminding my worn strength that someone out there has it worse
but often I lose sight of the blessings in this curse
it's tough but nothing is ever impossible
I'm telling myself it's only meant to make me stronger
even if it's not what i deserve