On The Surface

I'm just tired
inside I'm falling apart
crying, dying, pleading for an escape
trapped in a life that doesn't feel like mine
at least, not anymore
memories, battle scars- haunting, taunting
dragging me down into the abyss of pain
to my dismay, once again
but on the surface... I'm just tired

I'm just fine
when actually I'm NOT okay
asking, praying, hoping for a release
stuck in a world that's driving me insane
slowly, it's winning
cruel words, fading scars- teasing, squeezing
all of the life so it drains out of me
out of control, no help
still on the surface... I'm just fine

It's nothing
I'd rather not burden you
what I face is too painful to speak of
forced onto a path that I never wanted to travel
twisting, manipulating
the world, perfection- reaching, beseeching
wanting to change me since I don't fit in
an outcast, so alone
yet on the surface... It's nothing

Look in my eyes and read them like a book
but listen to my voice and you'll be fooled
I can't hide my heart of glass for very long
but during my masquerade, it's impeccable
unbreakable, unattainable for a moment
then I can no longer fake that charming smile
or keep the well of tears from leaking
I'm falling apart, going to pieces
but on the surface, can you tell?