F

I miss you.
I miss the way that you smelled when you came home from work,
The feeling of your skin through an old t-shirt.
I miss the way that your hands felt on my face,
And the way you used to look at me as if you could never love anyone more

I miss the way that you get so very excited,
And the way that nearly everything excites you.
I miss your obsession with adventure time,
And cuddling on your bed as we watch Wilfred.

I miss the way that we fucked every opportunity we got,
I miss the comfort I found in your touch.
I miss the way that you ate me out,
Like you were worshiping my body.

I miss my  hands in your soft blonde hair,
And the way that your blue eyes sparkle when you laugh.
I miss how safe I felt with you.

I don’t miss the way you tried to make me feel inferior,
Playing on my feelings when you didn’t like what you were hearing.
I don’t miss the way that you made me feel lonely and pathetic, like I was just hanging on to your perfect life.
I don’t miss the way that you got jealous,
Or how you obsessed over every detail of my sex life before you.
I don’t miss the way that you broke promises.

I don’t miss the way that you never take your pill,
Always claiming that you don’t need it,
But it always ends the same way.
I don’t miss the way that you would sit and cry on my shoulder,
Sobbing about how lonely you are, how no one cares for you, no one loves you,
As I hold you and sings the songs you love,
Till you fall asleep in my arms.

I don’t miss the way you ostracised my family and friends,
Making enemies of my closest allies,
Nor the way that you expected me to do the same.
I don’t miss the vicious arguments that always end the same way.
I don’t miss the way that you would poke and prod until I spit venomous, hateful words,
The kind you could always bring up later.
I don't miss the way that everything I felt was an 'overreaction',
Brought on by my lack of logic and reason.
I don't miss the way that everyone else is always the bad guy,
Until they're usefull again of course.

I will always love you,

But

I don’t miss you anymore.