Reflection

I will never be happy with the way I look
I will never be satisfied with seeing the reflection of myself in the mirror
Reflected by glass, I can not hide from the painful truth I see before me

Hair, chopped short so that I can never escape the taunts about my sexually
Pale face splattered with freckles and imperfections that only get in the way
My collar bones do not protrude from my skin like the girls in the magazines
My chest is laughable, barely noticeable on the best of days
The fat on my stomach will always make me cringe, tear up
Added with the thundering of my thighs and I will never look beautiful

Too afraid to throw up
But the skipped meals make me feel in control
The slight exhilaration from feeling my stomach growl

People say it's impossible to look like the girls in the magazines
Photoshop does miracles
But I want to
I want to be part of a thinsperation
Thigh gap of a girl who doesn't need to eat
I want to see my hip bones run like little V's down my sides
The way ribs look like long piano keys on the smooth skin
Each little notch of the spinal cord barely grazing the surface of back skin

I hate the reflection I see before me
And I will never be happy with the way I look
Not until I look like I'm a walking piece of photoshop
Maybe them
But I'll have to be thinner