Truly, Surely...I am Happy

Am I truly happy
a contented type of joy
are my laughter and jokes forced
like lights keeping out the dark

for when the light is snuffed out
and darkness becomes my friend
dark thoughts surround my mind
suggesting dreams way out of grace

am I truly happy here where I am
standing and watching the lamp
lighting my neighbour’s windows
as I grow accustomed to loneliness

In my mind the bats chatter
as they flap their fibrous wings
telling me again and repeatedly
how I hug darkness in my misery