Letter

You make me feel invincible. Like I can do anything in the world and no one could ever stop me. You make me feel valuable, as if the things that I do might actually make a difference somewhere. You inspire me. When I talk to you I can feel it from inside my chest and it spreads all the way to the tips of my fingers. You make me want to create, to capture the world through my perspective. Whether it’s through words or art or music you make me want to at least try to create something amazing. You give me perspective, seeing things through your eyes always gives me a little bit more clarity, like the lens is finally in focus. When we speak I see such beauty in the world that I thought could never exist. Food tastes better, music sounds better, and the feeling of the wind on my skin is so sublime. It’s like the most amazing thing I've ever felt and it just gets better every time. You bring out the best in my world.

You scare me.

You’re incredible and unique, so much so that it almost makes me want to cry sometimes. From the curve of your lips to the texture of your hands I find you fascinating and unique. Hearing the way you think is like watching Da Vinci paint, or Mozart compose. How can I live up to that? I'm so very terrified of disappointing you. You look at me as if I'm beautiful and precious. You speak to me as if you have the world’s respect for me, you listen as if you actually care about what I have to say. You tell me that there’s nothing you would ever change about me.
But what if you're wrong?

What if I don’t live up to what you see? What if one day you wake up and you realise that I'm just not worth the trouble? That thought terrifies me

Though I've known you for two years it feels as if this happened over night. For once I took my time, I didn’t rush it, but it still feels like I'm freefalling toward the earth. I'm so afraid that you’ll sense how much you mean to me and that you’ll run away – or worse, pity me.

Maybe I should stop worrying so hard, maybe I should just let what happens happen and deal with them as they come. Whatever the case, the one thing that I know for sure is how overwhelmingly happy I am that I have you in my life.

Yours,
Ri-Hani.