change

Its three am. I've been clean for over three months. Im still at the same cheap motel. I got a couple roomates and a job at Dairy Queen. I moved into one of the kitchenettes back in January after I  reconnected with an old girlfriend. She moved down here with me for a month...then shit changed. We broke up and she left. Four days ago she texted me and apologized for the way she treated me after she got here. Then she dropped the last thing I expected to here on me. She told me she's still mine...and that I'm going to be a father. I was over at a friends house drinking when she told me. I was so happy I couldn't stop crying and hugging my homeboys. Latin here on the hide a bed I share with my friend and coworker, monkey while another guy we work with, Trevor is trying to fuck a fat girl on our floor I contemplate a choice I have to make. Tess kicked Troy out almost two months ago and he went to work driven a semi. Well Troy called me earlier today and told me he wants me to come work with him driving a truck and that if I want this could be the last night I spend at this god forsaken motel because he found a house and he wants me to move in with him. The job pays around $1000 a week, money I can really use right now. And knowing Tess if I take the job then I'm going to have to move. My baby's mamas next doctor appointment is the 28th and almost 200 miles away and come hell or high water I'm going to be there for it. She left because she got scared when she realized she was pregnant. She's 23 yes old and is the store manager of a dollar general and when she moved she took a huge pay cut. Being an expectant mother, living in a cheap motel and living paycheck to paycheck didn't seem appealing to her...so she left. I can't blame her. But she wants to work things out and get back together. Maybe if this trucking job works out and she sees I can support our family alone she'll be willing to move back. If not I'm gonna save enough money to buy a car and move back out her way. One way or the other I have to do something. I refuse to be this far apart from the woman who's carrying my child. I want to be able to be at all the drs appointments and that kind of thing. Something changed in me the moment I found out that I'm going to be a father. Nothing else matters to me except my child and I'm going to do whatever it takes to be there for my baby.