:>O<:

Mo Chara,

This is a piece of such poignant--almost painful--passion....the depth of devotion soo keenly felt.

You have perfectly captured all those emotions that are part of a love that is sooo desperately desired.....but can never be fulfilled--save in dreams.

(This poem haunts my thoughts....)

Enchanted on, mo chara

ah your words are so very thought out and encouraging.

capturing emotions is a full time job most times, so I'm happy some of them are shining through

not sure if I'd be in agreement with your last eight words, but then I'm a ie hard romantic :)  

Crims

glad you liked this little ditty and appreciate your kind words

thanks for dropping by and laying them down

Enjoyed :)

happy days :)

Mr Craic Meister,
I really like the write.
Simple (ish) language and poignant
patient, and well measured.
I believe.and like your voice.
 
One thing though,
The end leaves me wanting  
Tell me what the "beauty of it     all"
was that gotcha so "lost" in
 
I.think that most.of the time one could probably sneak that end in, as its not bad... But the casualness of it, and somewhat begrudgingly expectness of it I think leaves the strength of the other lines dangling out there stranded
 
 
 
Edit.(post script) - I am def convinced of the romance in this voice, and  am a huge fan

Double edit,.second post script - not sure why I was quite so unsold on your ending...upon more readings I dont feel as stranded as I first did

LB

you've got me there, I spent a fair amount of time trying to expand on the said thoughts, but everything I came up with so far seemed lame. I'd an idea last night before I crashed but I can't remember it. there's a missing stanza so I'll work to give a little clarity n the end, can't promise it'll be today or tomorrow, but it'll be

I thank you for your honesty, and for your wisdom, dropping in and taking the time to express what you felt  

MIss Devlin

dreams are for the taking ..or for the orating if you're a colored Dr

fair, no

thank you kindly for stopping by Miss, and for throwing down your thoughts

deeply evocative ink..expressing longing and desire, only partially appeased by dreams..well done..with respect..domore

domore

thank you muchly for your kind words and respect, they're both appreciated


cheers for dropping by and leaving your footprint

Lol having wet dreams again you randy old man?
Being the somewhat dark fucker that I am, 'make a bloodied gift for her' was my favourite line. I disagree with LB about the ending, don't wanna get into too much detail there or it gets smutty instead of romantic. But having 'all' by itself is a bit jarring though.

all the time batgirl, it's getting to the point that i dunno whether to bring welly-boots to bed or a fkn  boat

I may move all to the previous line, so thanks for the heads up

yes ..dark fucker


cheers man for the visit and words, much appreciated

Uma

oh, well that's some kind of a compliment Missus, if I were a lesser person my little head would have grown somewhat after reading your thoughts. I think the genre demands a candidness.

I thank you kindly for dropping in and leaving your thoughts

oh how gorgeous this is!

very, it is very gorgeous my good fellow

cheers for the drop in  13

Wow this is beautiful!
Simple but we'll depicted
You manage to transfer the feeling...

Cesar

the idea was to try translate the feelings in as few lines as possible, hard enough to do. But I think I got lucky on this one

thanks you for dropping in and laying down your thoughts

This is just, no words can explain how amazing this poem is <3

MaggieScissorhands

I dunno, I think words like amazing , outstanding, extraordinary, spell bindingly fantasical, braingasmical etc would lend themselves to a modest explanation

thank you kindly for dropping by and leaving your thoughts. much appreciated

Great idea combining these two... Powerful in their ability to grasp hold inside, in the 'reals' and tug.

I object to your non-title, though. I want an idea, not a sweetie.

thank you kindly Tank girl. I can't claim a decision of combination. this was an attempt at stream of consciousness. I can claim the decision to use different fonts for the two

I object to your objection and point out that a title is a title

very happy to have your eyes and thoughts Miss, thank you much for dropping by  

Punctured with intense passion that leaves a dark sense of longing in one's heart.Brilliant write!

DarkNobody

welcome to DU, and thankyou for dropping by and laying down your thoughts

much appreciated

ahh, the artist formally known as Zazzles

Cheers, Lady. Innocent ..maybe. honest, can't refute that. gifted and talented ..negligible

oh, I'm all kinds of wonderful in life

thank you much for visiting and leaving the kind words missus

the dream was most vivid to me. the simplicity of it makes it more than itself

mizsally

kind of you to drop by Miz. I think I'd have to agree with you there with the vivid-ness of the dream, i expect the darker tone of the font may have went some way to accentuate the dream to your liking

thank you for the visit and the words, please come again  

Beautiful.

Mathew, welcome back

thanks for the visit and words

"pang that reverberates
almost sub-sonic"

No matter how I tried to explain what I saw in this line, and how I felt about it, my explanation sounded ridiculous, so suffice to say that I loved this piece (those lines especially, but yes the whole piece). Cheers for the reminder of soft, and not-so-soft, longing  :-)

Kaatho

you're alIIIIve! great to see you knocking about, dear Lady

haha, not-so-soft..

I hear you on that. I went through a phase of trying to expand on that line but couldn't think of anything other than the words already used.

thank you most kindly for the drop by and for leaving your foot-print Kaatho  

Very sexy ! I hope someone out there has thought of doing naughty things to me  lol xoxo

..all the time Gg :)

great to see you back again, perhaps you'll stick around this time

either way, thanks for dropping by my stuff and leaving your footprint. always appreciated