I to i

I smoked for four years
i quit for eight months
I started again
i wondered why and when it would end
I was happy to be able to relate to my friends again
i was distraught for bullying my body

I was having a hard time letting go
i was terrified of what would happen if I didn't

I kept asserting dominance
i was far more passive but i wanted a chance to speak

I could tell I was dying and I was afraid

i was gentle and let the process happen slowly

I put up a fight
I refused to back down
but I was growing weaker

i finally began to take over
i was a reminder not to capitalize
on feelings of superiority
i was meant to show the potential
of everything
on the same level

and i love
i love even when I am afraid
i love even when I can not see clearly
i love even when I can not remember

and i always come back
to indicate
to imply
to speak the truth
I to i