deepundergroundpoetry.com
Senryū Trio
orchard
peach plucked gasps succumb
lips ripen under his sun
tongues plunge in nectar
sea
lust tides pull our core
pleasured waves peak, crash afresh
flushed in froths, entwined
fire
torched skins ignite want
slick desires flicker, lick, groan
deep stroke explosions
Published 21st Apr 2014
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likes 13
reading list entries 3
comments 24
reads 213
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 15th Apr 2019 9:40pm
21st Apr 2014 10:45pm
<< post removed >>
22nd Apr 2014 3:19pm
22nd Apr 2014 00:20am
There's nothing like reading the phrase "deep stroke explosions" while on my break... a good read has been had again
22nd Apr 2014 3:20pm
22nd Apr 2014 00:22am
They all were good, don't get me wrong, but Orchard! That brought the house down!!
much love!
22nd Apr 2014 3:20pm
22nd Apr 2014 4:13am
Ooooh...
Atakti and her pen
Sitting in a tree
Writing poems about sex
Not one, but three!
Hehe :)
Atakti and her pen
Sitting in a tree
Writing poems about sex
Not one, but three!
Hehe :)
22nd Apr 2014 3:21pm
22nd Apr 2014 4:57am
a poem can change one word, many places forever, stop the heart, unlearn civilization in a growl, the carnal orchard of this will ride to my skin on many hot days and when the first peaches come in summer (i've got four peach trees out back that will blooming soon with bouqueta of pink you soon)
22nd Apr 2014 3:22pm
Well, wow, Sem, what a beautiful compliment... I hope you share some pics and words with us when the peaches blossom, and ripen.
Thank you.
Thank you.
22nd Apr 2014 5:37am
Daaaaaayyyyuuummmnnnn this is exceptional!! I loved these lil bursts of brilliance my friend :)
22nd Apr 2014 3:23pm
23rd Apr 2014 12:20pm
Ut oh! A three-alarmer! I like the sequence to the build and the earthiness. Fire has the nod with the climax!
24th Apr 2014 3:32am
Jake's alarms are going off, stand back...
Thank you, pleased you like them.
:)
Thank you, pleased you like them.
:)
23rd Apr 2014 11:18pm
OMG !!...
Such sensual Senryu--
concise, sizzling, ("Fire"), luscious ("Orchard"), drowning -in- the- depths-of-passion ("Sea") imagery! :)
Atakti, my friend, I believe that you may have just found your new poetic genre!!
Such sensual Senryu--
concise, sizzling, ("Fire"), luscious ("Orchard"), drowning -in- the- depths-of-passion ("Sea") imagery! :)
Atakti, my friend, I believe that you may have just found your new poetic genre!!
24th Apr 2014 4:07am
I'm not sure I could keep this pace, exhausting you know! Ha.
Thank you Dark Enchantress, for your lovely feedback, you have such graceful insights.
Thank you Dark Enchantress, for your lovely feedback, you have such graceful insights.
24th Apr 2014 2:11am
ahhh human weakness...
you manage to combine lust with a hint of haiku!
sweet construction of syllables my dear ;)
you manage to combine lust with a hint of haiku!
sweet construction of syllables my dear ;)
24th Apr 2014 4:29pm
27th Apr 2014 9:06pm
6th May 2014 10:01pm
Anonymous
- Edited 16th May 2018 11:39am
27th Apr 2014 11:32pm
<< post removed >>
6th May 2014 10:02pm
Too kind, Kitten, too kind.
Yeah, well, the comp inspired, so I'm happy enough!
Yeah, well, the comp inspired, so I'm happy enough!
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 10:07pm
6th May 2014 9:04pm
<< post removed >>
6th May 2014 10:04pm