deepundergroundpoetry.com
SWAN
When hope was broken next to less,
A swan turned an egg in her nest.
It is simpleness when one is blessed.
One seed beads garlands of wetland reeds,
A march of hope in a marsh of doubt.
For a seed in weeds is still a seed that will sprout.
Sprout and grow as if only Heaven's above,
For what do seeds and eggs care
When there is love.
A swan turned an egg in her nest.
It is simpleness when one is blessed.
One seed beads garlands of wetland reeds,
A march of hope in a marsh of doubt.
For a seed in weeds is still a seed that will sprout.
Sprout and grow as if only Heaven's above,
For what do seeds and eggs care
When there is love.
Published 18th Apr 2014
| Edited 2nd May 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 0
comments 16
reads 98
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
18th Apr 2014 1:12am
18th Apr 2014 1:23am
Anonymous
- Edited 23rd Oct 2019 7:38am
18th Apr 2014 6:08am
<< post removed >>
18th Apr 2014 3:11pm
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 9:39pm
18th Apr 2014 11:57am
<< post removed >>
18th Apr 2014 3:13pm
Anonymous
- Edited 15th Apr 2019 9:40pm
18th Apr 2014 3:15pm
<< post removed >>
18th Apr 2014 3:47pm
18th Apr 2014 5:29pm
lovely piece on the simple beauty of life and it's creation ...
Thank you.
Thank you.
18th Apr 2014 8:22pm
Hey Lobo - thanks - I have to constantly remind myself right now that it's a beautiful world
19th Apr 2014 2:32am
19th Apr 2014 9:05pm
whale, I really enjoyed this piece, especially the flow in stanzas in 2 and 3, the words rolled off the tongue. Great technique and nice rhyming. I felt the opening stanza could use a little tweaking with a couple of word changes to give that opening line a bit more meat and to tie it in with the second line. I thought associating the word "broken" with the "egg" metaphor could be one way of linking the lines. This just a suggestion for you to consider.
"When hope was broken from less,
A swan nurtures an egg into the sun.
It is simpleness when two become one."
Overall it is a beautifully written poem.
"When hope was broken from less,
A swan nurtures an egg into the sun.
It is simpleness when two become one."
Overall it is a beautifully written poem.
19th Apr 2014 9:06pm
2nd Jul 2014 8:12pm
To grow and change is inevitable, to grow in love blessed. Deep write. Enjoyed whale.
2nd Jul 2014 8:55pm