deepundergroundpoetry.com
Rebirth 2
Driven wild-my mind clouds
So full of ecstacy
Craving more, wanting,
no needing
My addiction causing
me sweet sweet misery
The incessant screams
and cries, music to my
masochistic ears
My mind astir,
reeling from the frenzied
feeding
The fleeting beauty of
the mangled corpses,
littering my humble abode
The thirst, now quenched-but
soon shall reign down
upon me again
Fated to one day self-destruct
I shall be acquitted to the true death...
So full of ecstacy
Craving more, wanting,
no needing
My addiction causing
me sweet sweet misery
The incessant screams
and cries, music to my
masochistic ears
My mind astir,
reeling from the frenzied
feeding
The fleeting beauty of
the mangled corpses,
littering my humble abode
The thirst, now quenched-but
soon shall reign down
upon me again
Fated to one day self-destruct
I shall be acquitted to the true death...
Published 15th Apr 2014
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The author encourages honest critique.
15th Apr 2014 11:18pm
The exact opposite of part one. You've taken short, easy to understand sentences, and you've taken them and separated them at all the most confusing places to make the reader feel the confusion that the speaker does. A totally different tactic, used for a totally different purpose, but equally effective. Another good job.
15th Apr 2014 11:40pm
Yea, I've noticed. I'll make adjustments when I get the chance, and Thank you :)
15th Apr 2014 11:48pm
No, not that at all. I was saying it was good! lol, sometimes, confusing works well with the poem content.
16th Apr 2014 10:23pm
6th May 2014 7:31pm