Most Wanted (edited)

Crim, you have no idea how much appreciate and feel honored for your time and praise. Many sincere thanks. -G

You are more than welcome. Thank you for your analytical and detailed response to my writing.  You hit the nail right on the head with the mining. I would have loved to expand on that metaphor; unfortunately I only had 50 words for the particular comp. Maybe another poem.

Thank you much for your support and praise Mz Fay!

Miss G

I'd agree with missus Missy 'bout the mining, it's a great metaphor.

there's an overall decent tone about the whole poem. Lines like "I want to not want" bring a kind of ..innocence maybe, or a brace to prop up a past feeling, or feelings.

Its up to yourself of course but I'd support the lynching of that 'as' on the third line and put a proper word in its place.

which brings me to a question (pick your brains if you will) when we're talking about something's something, ie the storm's jealousy
and use 'its, should we use it's . eg 'tempted it's lightening'

anyhow good stuff, shine on

You, sir, have the uncanny ability of zeroing in on where I have been silently fumbling at my keys; with the 'as' and 'its/it's' follies.

I've been picking at those areas like a kid pushing around veggies on a plate.

Many appreciative thanks for bolstering my own feelings and your honest feedback.