subtle substances

I shutter at the thoughts
my hand are held shut
so tight

time has torn at me
opening forgotten scares
I tried to keep away

I keep my knife
close
I search for an answer

there words roll with ease
unaware of damage
they have caused

my words matter so muchless
cut me off
unimportance
is all that flows
from my lips

my thoughts unbeknownst
to all who care

Im digging my grave
I am little more
than a slave

tired and numb
is all I have become
damaged goods
an easy blame for all

my faults tease me
my worries surround
my sayings set me free

i need a soul
to find my own

a sweet sound of music lets my emotions flow
when it feels as if
they have no where to go

i can conceive of a dream
but i struggle to find hope

something keeps me going
but things beat me down
i lay on the ground
i step to the bridge
and bend my knees
something keeps me from falling off

theres a plague i hold close
an addiction i admire
a darkness i thrive on
a deepness i have to feel