deepundergroundpoetry.com
Fear
My biggest fear
is that your final breath
will be older than mine
leaving me to roam
and live without you.
is that your final breath
will be older than mine
leaving me to roam
and live without you.
Published 10th Apr 2014
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likes 10
reading list entries 1
comments 12
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 27th Aug 2021 5:37pm
10th Apr 2014 1:02pm
<< post removed >>
10th Apr 2014 1:33pm
10th Apr 2014 1:47pm
Nice job here Glass heart
certainly brings out the angst and indeed fear. I think you may have missed an opportunity with the tittle, where you could put a different word synonymous with fear. also maybe change is older to sooner. purely opinion of course
either way, grand job, shine on
certainly brings out the angst and indeed fear. I think you may have missed an opportunity with the tittle, where you could put a different word synonymous with fear. also maybe change is older to sooner. purely opinion of course
either way, grand job, shine on
11th Apr 2014 3:58am
Thank you for commenting CracDealer; the title I was unsure of myself...
The word 'older' though is on purpose; it balances between the age gap of my partner and I as well as the time I feel like I've missed with him.
I really thank you for your feedback xx
The word 'older' though is on purpose; it balances between the age gap of my partner and I as well as the time I feel like I've missed with him.
I really thank you for your feedback xx
11th Apr 2014 4:18am
Ahh, I get it now, you're a cougar ..no judging here. :)
http://www.answers.com/topic/fear
^ this might help with a title if you feel the need to, I was thinking palpable apprehension but I'm sure you can sort something before the lad gets back from lessons :D
http://www.answers.com/topic/fear
^ this might help with a title if you feel the need to, I was thinking palpable apprehension but I'm sure you can sort something before the lad gets back from lessons :D
11th Apr 2014 4:57am
HAHAHA no, I'm the younging; he's the 'cougar'
Thank you for the link, I've saved it in my task bar :)
Thank you for the link, I've saved it in my task bar :)
Anonymous
- Edited 23rd Oct 2019 7:38am
11th Apr 2014 2:07am
<< post removed >>
11th Apr 2014 3:59am
11th Apr 2014 4:16am
Very relatable for anyone who has had to deal with the loss of a someone close.
11th Apr 2014 4:59am
It is... Nothing eases the pain, even though it may not be as strong as the day before. Thank you for reading x
Anonymous
- Edited 15th Apr 2019 9:40pm
11th Apr 2014 4:22am
<< post removed >>
11th Apr 2014 5:01am