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..
and we, all three of us are trying to make ready our
minds for what's coming. the quiet times post conversation invites the force of it all to let its weight be known. there is sadness, and a palpable fear about the house when I visit, but there is a love, stronger than its ever been for as far back as I can remember
Circle the wagons
even at the bar
the firm handshakes are changing
to a light slap on his shoulder
because hardly anybody
wants to look death in the eyes
the few who would have
adorn the walls in fine photograph
captured in a flash, mid-sup of the black stuff
some patrons may consider that an immortally
others, an act of corporate magnetism
we are getting used to it now
the mere thoughts of the thing anyway
we've talked, my brothers and I
because we'd watched his brisk step
turn to a slow shuffle
and waited mid-sentence for words
that hung on
to the tip of his tongue
but in-between the banter
and the let's get down to business
there's a black hole spinning into life
somewhat satiable for now
but we all know
at some stage it will engulf him
into silence
minds for what's coming. the quiet times post conversation invites the force of it all to let its weight be known. there is sadness, and a palpable fear about the house when I visit, but there is a love, stronger than its ever been for as far back as I can remember
Circle the wagons
even at the bar
the firm handshakes are changing
to a light slap on his shoulder
because hardly anybody
wants to look death in the eyes
the few who would have
adorn the walls in fine photograph
captured in a flash, mid-sup of the black stuff
some patrons may consider that an immortally
others, an act of corporate magnetism
we are getting used to it now
the mere thoughts of the thing anyway
we've talked, my brothers and I
because we'd watched his brisk step
turn to a slow shuffle
and waited mid-sentence for words
that hung on
to the tip of his tongue
but in-between the banter
and the let's get down to business
there's a black hole spinning into life
somewhat satiable for now
but we all know
at some stage it will engulf him
into silence
Written by
lepperochan
(CraicDealer)
Published 6th Apr 2014
| Edited 27th Apr 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 15
reading list entries 2
comments 35
reads 192
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 15th Apr 2019 9:40pm
6th Apr 2014 9:40pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
7th Apr 2014 12:00pm
Crims
I must apologise profusely for making you wonder, god knows you've enough going on without having to think as well :) ..just fukin with ya
ahh, solemn yes and hard to relay the thoughts too because they're not settled yet
I thank you kindly dear Lady for dropping by and leaving your brain print
I must apologise profusely for making you wonder, god knows you've enough going on without having to think as well :) ..just fukin with ya
ahh, solemn yes and hard to relay the thoughts too because they're not settled yet
I thank you kindly dear Lady for dropping by and leaving your brain print
Anonymous
- Edited 15th Apr 2019 9:40pm
7th Apr 2014 12:04pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
6th Apr 2014 11:05pm
the slow command of death leaves us all impotent - you've captured this completely and with this write I'm pulling up a chair with a jar of guinness settling watching it with you - evocative of the hollowness of men's emotional connection and the phoney world we express it through. cool writings
1
re: Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
Whale
true. impotent, I like that. you'd think we'd be getting used to the idea by now, a couple of million years into existence (give or take) but death and to an extent immortality still have a huge hold on our psyche. I think The Doors break on through went some way to offering us a peek at the alternative
they call that wall in the bar "the death wall" I wonder if people actually look forward to having their photograph hung onto it, or more importantly what goes through one's mind when the barman whips out the camera and asks for a pose " for the wall, good sir"
cheers for dropping by Whale, a pleasure as always
true. impotent, I like that. you'd think we'd be getting used to the idea by now, a couple of million years into existence (give or take) but death and to an extent immortality still have a huge hold on our psyche. I think The Doors break on through went some way to offering us a peek at the alternative
they call that wall in the bar "the death wall" I wonder if people actually look forward to having their photograph hung onto it, or more importantly what goes through one's mind when the barman whips out the camera and asks for a pose " for the wall, good sir"
cheers for dropping by Whale, a pleasure as always
Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
7th Apr 2014 3:36am
That's just it....in the end....Death comes for us all.
We cannot avoid it....we are all at it's mercy... can neither speed up, nor slow down the passage of time("Stop the clocks"). we are continuously reminded of our common mortality.
Your piece not only allows the reader to ponder this point,but there is a subtle sadness, within these lines,as the reader glimpses another aspect.....when faced with the Death's presence, as humans, we tend to 'distance' as much as possible...for soo many reasons...
This is an outstanding, powerful poem, mo chara!
So creatively compelling!
We cannot avoid it....we are all at it's mercy... can neither speed up, nor slow down the passage of time("Stop the clocks"). we are continuously reminded of our common mortality.
Your piece not only allows the reader to ponder this point,but there is a subtle sadness, within these lines,as the reader glimpses another aspect.....when faced with the Death's presence, as humans, we tend to 'distance' as much as possible...for soo many reasons...
This is an outstanding, powerful poem, mo chara!
So creatively compelling!
1
re: Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
7th Apr 2014 12:54pm
Enchanted one
It does, and it come on its terms, rarely compromising and so, has a name ..blackened and afforded an image of a hooded scythe carrying skeleton synonymous with grief. I've seen people so overcome that they've fainted graveside, even religion it seems can't quite get on top of it.
..I'm rambling
thank you most kindly for dropping by, and for laying down your wonderful thoughts
It does, and it come on its terms, rarely compromising and so, has a name ..blackened and afforded an image of a hooded scythe carrying skeleton synonymous with grief. I've seen people so overcome that they've fainted graveside, even religion it seems can't quite get on top of it.
..I'm rambling
thank you most kindly for dropping by, and for laying down your wonderful thoughts
Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
7th Apr 2014 11:05am
This is a powerful write; like death is sitting with you... Like this piece a lot x
1
re: Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
7th Apr 2014 1:01pm
Glass hearted one
I think the power is in the mind that translates words to pictures and feelings. that's powerful, so you've got a powerful mind. I am just some vessel for an alien poet somewhere in the universe
thank you much for stopping by and leaving your thoughts
I think the power is in the mind that translates words to pictures and feelings. that's powerful, so you've got a powerful mind. I am just some vessel for an alien poet somewhere in the universe
thank you much for stopping by and leaving your thoughts
Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
7th Apr 2014 1:08pm
'adorn the walls in fine photograph' Ahhh, very good. Somehow just the right amount of pomposity as he walks in, before he dries up, with 'hung on to the tip of his tongue' working so much better than 'hung on the tip of his tongue', because it's almost as though the sentence itself is suspended, taking it's time to complete. I found myself slowing that bit accordingly, nice trick, man.
0
re: Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
7th Apr 2014 1:22pm
Kaatho
it took some restraint not to dive into a sarcastic rant about said photographs, but on reflection I s'pose its just the way it is.
funny enough, I tried that sentence in the draft and came to the same conclusion as yourself, so that's kinda cool
thanks, missus, its always a pleasure to have your thoughts
it took some restraint not to dive into a sarcastic rant about said photographs, but on reflection I s'pose its just the way it is.
funny enough, I tried that sentence in the draft and came to the same conclusion as yourself, so that's kinda cool
thanks, missus, its always a pleasure to have your thoughts
Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
7th Apr 2014 2:17pm
Indeed a touching work Lepp.!!!
Acceptance and politeness walk hand and hand with tenderness and heartache...those we know, and those we have known-fragility is sadly a universal weight we all feel...maybe the pix are at least one form of actual impact someone can make-Dark Writings Sir-Excellence!!!
Acceptance and politeness walk hand and hand with tenderness and heartache...those we know, and those we have known-fragility is sadly a universal weight we all feel...maybe the pix are at least one form of actual impact someone can make-Dark Writings Sir-Excellence!!!
1
re: Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
7th Apr 2014 3:36pm
Maybe you're right Soul. A lad was telling me at the weekend that he was sitting at the bar when the daughter of one the men on the wall was asking a friend if she could have the pic taken down, she thought it in bad taste. another of the patrons leaned across and said "that's a wonderful photograph of your dad" ..so she left it there
fortunately I have very little experience in these matters, so it's all a learning curve for me
thank you kindly for your visit, good sir and the laying down of your thoughts
fortunately I have very little experience in these matters, so it's all a learning curve for me
thank you kindly for your visit, good sir and the laying down of your thoughts
re: re: Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
7th Apr 2014 4:25pm
everyone everywhere takes to death in their own manner...I self analyze a lot and in some ways ive grown harder...colder-or more numb to it all...
in other ways it will hit me harder,just less apt to show it...its the ghost effect...some mourn them and cringe...others chase them down.
can I be propped up and used as a scarecrow when its my time?
i'd like to give back to the world (and scar the wee ones)
in other ways it will hit me harder,just less apt to show it...its the ghost effect...some mourn them and cringe...others chase them down.
can I be propped up and used as a scarecrow when its my time?
i'd like to give back to the world (and scar the wee ones)
2
Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
7th Apr 2014 3:11pm
Don't think I have been able to see it in words expressed like this..but this is exactly how I see my mom and her ever going bout with alcohol...thanks for allowing to see how I feel expressed in ink!
2
re: Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
7th Apr 2014 3:44pm
Niknshel, ..look at you, with your big radiant smile
I'm sorry you can relate, and also that you've an ongoing battle with all the worries and frustrations that come with it.
I guess we each have a different way of expression and sometimes when we see another's offering it'll hit the spot. I know its happened to me countless times
thank you most kindly for gracing my page with your thoughts and encouragement.
I'm sorry you can relate, and also that you've an ongoing battle with all the worries and frustrations that come with it.
I guess we each have a different way of expression and sometimes when we see another's offering it'll hit the spot. I know its happened to me countless times
thank you most kindly for gracing my page with your thoughts and encouragement.
Anonymous
- Edited 21st May 2018 7:36pm
9th Apr 2014 7:10am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
9th Apr 2014 9:41pm
Ah, Devlin, there you be. I was beginning to think you'd been fatally injured in some drive-by
that's a fair analysis, not exactly what I was trying for, but I can see where you'd attain that assumption
delighted to have you drop by Miss, and leave your thoughts
that's a fair analysis, not exactly what I was trying for, but I can see where you'd attain that assumption
delighted to have you drop by Miss, and leave your thoughts
Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
9th Apr 2014 3:12pm
Such a lulling restlessness. The tone and rhythm of this is so on point with the descriptiveness of stagnation and acceptance into death and alcohol's numbing submission. I very much enjoyed this.
2
re: Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
10th Apr 2014 4:49pm
Miss G
"lulling restlessness", nice n poetic in itself.
happy that the tone and rhythm worked for you and more than happy you dropped in and enjoyed your stay.
thanks much for stopping by and leaving your thoughts
"lulling restlessness", nice n poetic in itself.
happy that the tone and rhythm worked for you and more than happy you dropped in and enjoyed your stay.
thanks much for stopping by and leaving your thoughts
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Jan 2019 00:35am
9th Apr 2014 3:54pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: Stop the clocks, there's something the matter with them
11th Apr 2014 2:53am
Uma, you exotic flower
I've changed the title, initially it was supposed to be a kind of pre adolescent plea but I don't think it was doing its job.
this was a tough one to put into words so your kind words and encouragement are much appreciated
thank you kindly for stopping by and leaving your thought prints
I've changed the title, initially it was supposed to be a kind of pre adolescent plea but I don't think it was doing its job.
this was a tough one to put into words so your kind words and encouragement are much appreciated
thank you kindly for stopping by and leaving your thought prints
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Jan 2019 00:35am
11th Apr 2014 3:45am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: ..
11th Apr 2014 12:46pm
Ah missus, sure you can drop back as many times as you like. I reserve the right to charge rent, is your current currency curry powder? I like the mild stuff but the strong spicy stuff blows the fecken mouth off me :)
wise words there Uma, thank you for them and for your continued support, much appreciated
wise words there Uma, thank you for them and for your continued support, much appreciated
Anonymous
- Edited 8th Jan 2019 00:35am
11th Apr 2014 1:24pm
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
- Edited 15th Feb 2019 4:35pm
11th Apr 2014 3:55pm
<< post removed >>
re: Re: ..
Vee
I dunno, if looking death in the eyes was a portal to discovering the secrets of the universe I think there'd be people playing chicken with trains or summoning death's eyes like in the movie Flatliners, trying to get a glimpse without paying the price, but death ..or the reaper is kind of like that ticket puncher on the train, there's no hiding from the bastard
I'm surprised some tv evangelist hasn't offered his own eyes for looking into through the tv screen for a couple of hundred dollars "put yo faaaace against the screen and I'll show you what I saw when the good lord above showed me death's eyes"
I agree with the immortality, I think that's a fair comment, I'd missed it myself, so thanks for your good eyes. I'll think of a line or two to repair that one.
thankyou most kindly for dropping by, and for your kind words and encouragement.
I dunno, if looking death in the eyes was a portal to discovering the secrets of the universe I think there'd be people playing chicken with trains or summoning death's eyes like in the movie Flatliners, trying to get a glimpse without paying the price, but death ..or the reaper is kind of like that ticket puncher on the train, there's no hiding from the bastard
I'm surprised some tv evangelist hasn't offered his own eyes for looking into through the tv screen for a couple of hundred dollars "put yo faaaace against the screen and I'll show you what I saw when the good lord above showed me death's eyes"
I agree with the immortality, I think that's a fair comment, I'd missed it myself, so thanks for your good eyes. I'll think of a line or two to repair that one.
thankyou most kindly for dropping by, and for your kind words and encouragement.
Re: ..
24th Apr 2014 5:00pm
re: Re: ..
24th Apr 2014 5:44pm
Gg
you're getting a habit of hit and run, there one minute and whoooosh gone again
thanks for dropping by my humble writings when you do visit this place, much appreciated good hot Latino friend
you're getting a habit of hit and run, there one minute and whoooosh gone again
thanks for dropping by my humble writings when you do visit this place, much appreciated good hot Latino friend
re: Re: ..
27th Apr 2014 1:05pm
Vis
welcome to this place good sir
you're far too kind, but that's hardly a bad trait.
thanks much fir dropping by and leaving your thoughts
welcome to this place good sir
you're far too kind, but that's hardly a bad trait.
thanks much fir dropping by and leaving your thoughts
Re: ..
26th Apr 2014 2:34pm
It has been said that this poem is solemn and sad, and while it has those traits, I believe it holds more than that, themes of acceptance and realisation of the inevitability of all things, it has an air of beauty because of this, the opening fragment sets this. It has the casual grit of any patron, but a complexity that makes it more than that.
My critique rests in the third stanza, while it carries its weight, seems a little too didactic and unsubtle. But even that has its moments too. Well done Eamon, to the list.
My critique rests in the third stanza, while it carries its weight, seems a little too didactic and unsubtle. But even that has its moments too. Well done Eamon, to the list.
2
re: Re: ..
27th Apr 2014 1:19pm
Tacete
ah, there's no pulling the wool over your eyes. there is indeed the thoughts of what you describe, which is I s'pose the beauty of words. whether the thoughts will manifest into actuality remains to be seen.
I get what you're saying about the third stanza and identified the fourth line as the most unsubtle, partly because of the language of it and partly because it refers to something that would only make sense to me. I think it reads a little better without that line and so thank you for your direction.
thanks for dropping by and leaving your thoughts good fellow of the ninja persuasion
ah, there's no pulling the wool over your eyes. there is indeed the thoughts of what you describe, which is I s'pose the beauty of words. whether the thoughts will manifest into actuality remains to be seen.
I get what you're saying about the third stanza and identified the fourth line as the most unsubtle, partly because of the language of it and partly because it refers to something that would only make sense to me. I think it reads a little better without that line and so thank you for your direction.
thanks for dropping by and leaving your thoughts good fellow of the ninja persuasion
Anonymous
- Edited 16th May 2018 11:39am
28th Apr 2014 3:35am
<< post removed >>
re: Re: ..
28th Apr 2014 8:16pm
Petit one
sorry to hear 'bout that Miss. can't be easy for you. sounds like you've a strong mother, I sincerely hope it works out the latter
thanks for dropping by and leaving your thoughts Miss
sorry to hear 'bout that Miss. can't be easy for you. sounds like you've a strong mother, I sincerely hope it works out the latter
thanks for dropping by and leaving your thoughts Miss
re: Re: ..
29th Apr 2014 2:58am
Zazzles
you're far too kind 'undeniable clarity and truism' I like that.
thank you kindly for the visit and words of encouragement Miss lips
you're far too kind 'undeniable clarity and truism' I like that.
thank you kindly for the visit and words of encouragement Miss lips