This should not be a safe place for my shadows

Carefully crafted half-truths
have never learned to ignore
all the things I’ve failed at being.
Like when the hand struck at noon
and I tried to dance across your sunburns
to ease your discomfort in the way you were exposed,
but I ended up with blistered feet,
and regrets that scalded my esophagus
with the bewilderments sitting in your eyes.

You are five-layered uncertainty
and I only have a mouthful of understandings
to offer you comfort.
Lay it down.
Release it.
Meet eye to eye, teeth to skin
you are more than the whisper of judgment
passed through the vocals of another.

Unfortunately, I neglected my own advice,
and tied my existence to yours
with the vocal cords rumbling beneath my fingertips.
Boxed roofs glued feet to uncertain solitudes.
Choreography found only in the palpitating muscle
caving in my chest,
reminded me of reprehensible walls
that accreted safety in thousand-shade shadows.

Truths are beading on my brow
plastering my hair to my face
rolling into my eyes,
and I can’t see past the specter in my head.
I’ve been staring at its sleeves
at the laughter hanging around its neck -
I think its wearing your name.