Left or Right

Why cant I figure out what I'm feeling inside
My heart's gone so many directions that I cant decide
To the left or the right
Straight ahead or risk getting left behind

Why must I fight myself like this
Every night another tally appears on my wrist
To the left or the right
I cant decide so I write
About everything I don't understand starting with me

The stories always end with a twist
A rope swing around my neck
A blade so deep I cant feel regret
The confusion that torments me inside my chest
In the end its the same my dreams always end in my death

I don't know what to do
I don't know what to feel
Since I was young I've been so detached
Nothing seems real
My life has decayed
My heart's not the same
I'm tired of everybody playing their games with me

My family left me
My friends have deserted me
What is left in my soul is a pit of uncertainty
Nothing is working no matter how hard I try
I'm supposed to be strong
But all I can do is break down and cry

I'm only 19 with no future ahead of me
I don't know where I'm going
To the left or the right
I can't decide
But it will be the death of me.