When Did I?

I question at what point...
 Did I know?
Followed by inquisitions regarding
When did I stop being enough for you..
  or was I ever?
These questions are followed by suspicions
that lead to nowhere...
  because the roads are closed.
Of course this creates
a nasty
cycle of self doubt, fatigue, and
endless hindsight phenoms--but for what?
  Even if I knew the "point"
What would it matter?
  Desiring a connection so strong-
the sun and moon get jealous.
  Yearning for the knowledge
of
  ones's heart heart without fear
of
  sharing my own understanding
in
  this road of life isn't always paved...
This is why it wouldn't matter!
  If we don't this by now...
then baby we'll neva' eva have it.
  So I don't need to know the point...
Because it doesn't effect my current trajectory
  of the future.
A projection where those connections will be had
  First,
Starting with me..
  First knowing myself
     First allowing my heart
        to beat and feel its own rhythm
and
 Dreams