deepundergroundpoetry.com
...sHe sAid GoOdBye...
Jumping in to this nothingness, small steps forcing me back in.
Looking back, to what I had, hard wind forcing tears again.
This past follows close behind me.
I'm blinded and still cannot find me. Where has she gone, she's lost along these walls. She said goodbye,
but I wasn't ready.
Now I'm trying to get her back, but after all that I lack, she's falls farther now behind me. I've forgotten what she was, innocence she aimed for. She was worth something, she was beautiful,
she was me. But after all the blood she bled, and all the tears she shed, and after all I've done to let her down, her philosophy, destroyed by me, I will never get her back, she hates what I've become.
She never saw it coming, and she knows Iam all wrong.
I used to be her, and I can never let that go. I'm tainted, insecure, unraveling into ruin, with no one left to hold.
Looking back, to what I had, hard wind forcing tears again.
This past follows close behind me.
I'm blinded and still cannot find me. Where has she gone, she's lost along these walls. She said goodbye,
but I wasn't ready.
Now I'm trying to get her back, but after all that I lack, she's falls farther now behind me. I've forgotten what she was, innocence she aimed for. She was worth something, she was beautiful,
she was me. But after all the blood she bled, and all the tears she shed, and after all I've done to let her down, her philosophy, destroyed by me, I will never get her back, she hates what I've become.
She never saw it coming, and she knows Iam all wrong.
I used to be her, and I can never let that go. I'm tainted, insecure, unraveling into ruin, with no one left to hold.
Published 11th Mar 2014
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11th Apr 2014 8:19pm
It can be so hard to look back on what we used to be when we know how much innocence was stolen away from us. I often daydream of those days when I remember life being so pure and invigorating, when I loved and lived in a welcoming way. That was a long time ago, but I still cling to broken shards of hope that I am not done here yet, that a purpose beyond my understanding still waits to be found. This was a beautifully written piece Jess.
16th Apr 2014 2:19am
13th Jun 2014 6:03pm
I am well, not as tangled up in the thralls of life as I was when I left Oroville. I do miss old faces though, and old friends. How are you Jess? It has been quite a long time since I have heard from you.