The Broken Bones of This World

Like a wisp of smoke, I dream to just fade out under this dull sky      
I can't start anew; the fire I've stoked all my life is burning up        
       
I want to watch it all decay      
I can't be a part of this anymore      
I feel like I'm crumbling from the inside out
Just like Earth's heartbeat, I deteriorate        
All my life has been like clawing my way to the surface for a breath      
Just one single breath, before being dragged back down again      
       
I ceaselessly reach for the sky with my feet in quicksand      
I reach for the sky with my feet in quicksand      
And the more I struggle, the more it pulls me in (the more it pulls me in, the more it pulls me in)      
       
I am so far from what I should be      
You all put me here; you all dug my grave      
I can no longer push forward in search for a better day      
       
I'm waking up from this hollow dream; I'm waking up to see      
They could never cure the disease within me      
So don't say you need me, don't say you feel me      
I never imagined it would come to this      
But now I see: I was doomed from the start      
I can't save myself; and I promise, I won't even try no more      
       
The silence: deafening, the air: suffocating      
       
God, where are you now?      
Please quell this affliction 'cause right now, I feel no comfort, I see no hope      
I'm depleted      
       
So like a wisp of smoke, I dream to just fade out under this dull sky      
I can't start anew; the fire I've stoked all my life is burning up        
       
Welcome the blackness for it welcomes you      
It hungers for you      
The shadows on the walls      
Forever dancing, never smiling        
       
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What do you think of this? This poem is actually a song, but I really want some feedback, so feel free to comment! :)