If You Were To Leave (A Secret House Poem)

This is so despondent and harrowing. It reminds me of my past relationships.

I'm sorry that you've felt this way Pathos. But thank you for reading my poem nonetheless.

- Paige Rider

Thank you Bolt, that's very kind of you to say.

- Paige Rider

Felt the love and the pain!!

Thank you Liz. . . I didn't think this one would catch that much attention but I guess I was wrong, thank you all for commenting and for reading my poem.
 
- Paige Rider

This matches exactly how I feel. :)

I'm sorry that you feel that way but I'm glad you care about someone that much that losing them would hurt you this much. Thank you for reading my poem though, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

- Paige Rider

Paige

you certainly have a talent for the shorter writes, which isn't easy by any stretch of the imagination. I've read a few so far and was impressed by them.

I think, (and I mean no disrespect) that this particular poem would be all the more poignant and hard hitting if you ended it at  "and a broken heart beyond repair" , that's not to say the next lines are bad and is just my opinion.

either way, damn decent offering, shine on

Thank you for the advice but I couldn't find it in my heart to change this poem. For you see, this specific poem and any poem under the title "Secret House" is written in one of the voices of my characters. And while the line would be good to end where you think it should end, the thought in my mind would seem unfinished. It appeared in my mind said this way and this is the way it needs to stay. I appreciate the advice, and I thank you for reading my poem. But I cannot change the words of my characters, even if I wanted to. I respect them to much as seperate beings, in a sense.

Thank you however for complimenting my pint-sized poems, I appreciate it alot. And I am glad you enjoyed the poem.

- Paige Rider