Blast From the Past

The talks that we used to have came flooding over me today like the down pour in the midst of a hurricane. & I was left in a sea of emotions not knowing what to feel at the moment.

Reading our old conversations... I swore I'd never fall for you, but I fell.

Everything about you to me was perfect. Everything.

The way that you would smile as if nothing was wrong in your life, even though everything was going horribly.
The twinkle in your eye's shined brighter than a thousand suns, even when you were sad.
The lack of confidence that you had in yourself was probably my favorite thing because for that part of the time that we spent together, your ego about the way you looked was never involved.

Everything about you, was so captivating.
We fit perfectly together like puzzle pieces and without each other we just couldn't function properly, almost like a shoe lace that doesn't have the plastic tip.

There were times that I sat there and replayed all of these moments over and over again in my head to try and look for the first sign of trouble. You know, I still don't know where we went wrong.

To be honest, you're the only person that I've ever spent this much time and effort on.

I learned that when someone walks into your life and changes it for the better, you don't ever let them walk away. Maybe that's what happened.. Maybe I held onto you too tightly.

I'm sorry for fucking this up, for fucking us up.

I would have done anything in the world to bring what we had back. I would have done anything in the world to keep you where I thought that you should be- in my heart for the rest of my life.

But now, you're gone. And the scariest thing about distance is the fact that you never know if they'll miss you or if they'll forget you. I wonder if you miss me or if you've forgotten me already.

I never wanted us to say goodbye to each other because goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting. But the most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never explained and never said.

I believe that true love is always wanting what is best for someone, even if that doesn't include you. So that being said, I'll be in that stage between sleep and awake where you can still remember dreaming. That is where I will always love you, and that's where I'll be waiting.

Always, xoxo