deepundergroundpoetry.com
Remix (Relationships Matter Instead Of An X-Factor)
My Love is not Italian to praise,
It is thy inner beauty, the beauty of thy soul,
Thou care warmed my otherwise night and days,
Thy affection culture cannot be played foul.
I don’t want to see you in a jeans or miniskirt,
When you smile your chin never dimples,
When I fool you simply, your simplicity gives me a start-
I don’t need your cheeks chubby, I like your pimples.
The lesson I have learnt during our separation-
Difficult to breathe in thy absence,
Our communion can prevent celestial desperation,
You too shall realize my essence.
Let us remix for the pleasure of the divine seed,
Live in with a second chance, don’t be stupid!
[b][u]Remix is not a poem in itself, it is the assessment of a marriage relationship in an out of the fashion way. The singer sings for his beloved to make her realize the significance of their relationship that has not been decided by them but by the celestial divine. It has been an attempt on part of him to ask his beloved for the last time before they are divorced to give their relationship a second chance. In doing so he is trying his best to change her mind by praising her simplicity and the immense care and affection she showed during their living together. The song admits his realization of her significance and sings that it becomes even difficult enough to breathe without her absence. The confession of love is spoken in an unusual way from the lyrical richness of the singer where very minute conversations between the couples has been highlighted and magnified. At one stance the expression sounds poetic and at the very other stance the perfect raw originality has been retained. In this way it has been a remix song so as to draw the attention of the opposite partner if she is stimulated in the either way. This is my first attempted sonnet by the way of my composition. However, I can bet you this one of mine is unique by the character of the language it has been proposed before its readers. The sonnet lyrics are remixed in two different languages of times to tune in the title of the poem. The message is a contemporary refurbishment of the belief that even the most ordinary couples are extraordinary in their own way. The sonnet is opening with an individual metaphor of mine that straightaway creates the mood of the poem. The singer is singing that neither he thinks of himself as an Italian sonneteer nor his beloved the Italian beauty. In doing so, he is trying to do something different to attract the otherwise attention of his beloved who is about to sign in the divorce papers in her heat of passion.Further, the lady-love is pregnant and the husband is forbidding her to become selfish and destroy the future of the not yet born life. This has been sung well too in the closing lines. [/u][/b]
It is thy inner beauty, the beauty of thy soul,
Thou care warmed my otherwise night and days,
Thy affection culture cannot be played foul.
I don’t want to see you in a jeans or miniskirt,
When you smile your chin never dimples,
When I fool you simply, your simplicity gives me a start-
I don’t need your cheeks chubby, I like your pimples.
The lesson I have learnt during our separation-
Difficult to breathe in thy absence,
Our communion can prevent celestial desperation,
You too shall realize my essence.
Let us remix for the pleasure of the divine seed,
Live in with a second chance, don’t be stupid!
[b][u]Remix is not a poem in itself, it is the assessment of a marriage relationship in an out of the fashion way. The singer sings for his beloved to make her realize the significance of their relationship that has not been decided by them but by the celestial divine. It has been an attempt on part of him to ask his beloved for the last time before they are divorced to give their relationship a second chance. In doing so he is trying his best to change her mind by praising her simplicity and the immense care and affection she showed during their living together. The song admits his realization of her significance and sings that it becomes even difficult enough to breathe without her absence. The confession of love is spoken in an unusual way from the lyrical richness of the singer where very minute conversations between the couples has been highlighted and magnified. At one stance the expression sounds poetic and at the very other stance the perfect raw originality has been retained. In this way it has been a remix song so as to draw the attention of the opposite partner if she is stimulated in the either way. This is my first attempted sonnet by the way of my composition. However, I can bet you this one of mine is unique by the character of the language it has been proposed before its readers. The sonnet lyrics are remixed in two different languages of times to tune in the title of the poem. The message is a contemporary refurbishment of the belief that even the most ordinary couples are extraordinary in their own way. The sonnet is opening with an individual metaphor of mine that straightaway creates the mood of the poem. The singer is singing that neither he thinks of himself as an Italian sonneteer nor his beloved the Italian beauty. In doing so, he is trying to do something different to attract the otherwise attention of his beloved who is about to sign in the divorce papers in her heat of passion.Further, the lady-love is pregnant and the husband is forbidding her to become selfish and destroy the future of the not yet born life. This has been sung well too in the closing lines. [/u][/b]
Published 24th Feb 2011
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24th Feb 2011 11:36am
a nice little praise for the all-too important. It's good see thou and thy in poetry when the kids are trying their best to have 'u' and the like become acceptable.
24th Feb 2011 11:39am
This one I will treat as my biggest compliment so far ever...Because this is your first comment on any of my work Jammie...Thank thou so much:-)
24th Feb 2011 2:05pm
Much like Jamie's comment, I like the rich archaic thys and thous, gives it all a sense of grandeur and resonance.
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 11:56pm
24th Feb 2011 2:38pm
<< post removed >>
to tell you honestly Old English makes my head hurt, but this piece is bearable and I actually liked it... so props for that!
but do you really have to explain or interpret the whole piece for us?
I believe that a good poem reveals itself to the readers, just like this one
and to tell you the truth I got kind of bored with your explanation so i kind of skip it... and also do you really need to underline and make the whole text bold? because it's kind of distracting-- or maybe it's just me, either way it's your style and I respect that.
but do you really have to explain or interpret the whole piece for us?
I believe that a good poem reveals itself to the readers, just like this one
and to tell you the truth I got kind of bored with your explanation so i kind of skip it... and also do you really need to underline and make the whole text bold? because it's kind of distracting-- or maybe it's just me, either way it's your style and I respect that.
...this is bad. Ditch the underlining, and ditch the explanation longer than the poem, and ditch the intellectual rubbish that you are getting from who knows where, and then harden up... just write a poem my dear.
As for the thee and thou business, you have showed no conviction in their use as you quickly drop then shortly into the work, which makes me think they are there for no reason at all...or you lack the skill to continue their use through the work.
As for the thee and thou business, you have showed no conviction in their use as you quickly drop then shortly into the work, which makes me think they are there for no reason at all...or you lack the skill to continue their use through the work.
Anonymous
- Edited 15th May 2018 1:38pm
25th Feb 2011 3:16pm
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
- Edited 14th May 2018 11:51pm
7th Mar 2011 12:56pm
<< post removed >>