Triggering

Triggering

Now that I know the pain exists within me,
I dig in to “scratch” away the lies I know you tell,
and the tears I know you never shed.

“They” say I’m not the only one but when I’m alone “They” say go ahead I dare you,
when I can’t I slap myself for the coward in the corner crying,
“fearless and without conscience.”

Stain my shirt blue, red, and black,
puzzle the pieces around the clock,
if the boy who shoots is barely heard
will the tree in the forest make a sound,
all alone and petrified.

You...you were there but I...I said I’d never but,
my hands are trembling,
the knife shaking,
the flesh breaking
the tears falling,
and the carpet soaking.

If I could find the words to write would I still write with my blade,
I’m tired and dizzy has it been two pints or three,
will the lock hold or break like my will,
I’m tired and done with new coming sun I’m dousing a seed,
I hope you fucks remember my name but I forgot I never told ,
well all the same.

-S. and N.
I love you both so much.