Stepping On The Sun

Moonlight beams splashes across my face as I lay here,
underneath the covers touching the skin that you've touched in your mind.

What is this feeling?
This growing sense of dread, I can feel you in the back of my mind,
reaching out with calloused hands, hooked and clawed.
Your skin is flayed and torn, scabs falling gently to the sheets.

I can feel you scratching at the inner most part of my soul.
Desperately trying to make me like you.
Scared and pathetic, trying to grasp at the emotions that you are not prepared for.

Tarnished dreams and nightmares are filling my head as I come to grips with the fact that there was never any love between you and I
I know nothing of what you hold dear.
I don't understand anything you ever said, not with the words that you shouted at me in anger
I don't understand the gesticulations you threw, like a hailstorm of hate.
There was nothing gentle about your arms as you held me down and took something that I wont ever get back
You shattered my dreams of wonderment and happiness
By taking the knife in your hands and making me speak the words I've never had to speak before now.
What do I have left?

Blood ran thick in my hands as I held the blade to my inner eye so that I could shut the world you that you created.
I felt the ball pop in my skull
felt the blood drip down into the palm of my hand.
Something old, borrowed and blue.
Blue is the color of sadness but that's not how I feel.
burning red and down the drain
the ties that bind choke and hold in place.

Confusion, up and down round and round,
Watch the pin spin on its head.

This is all I have left, after you took my sanity my heart and my soul.
What made you flip and turn on me
change and hurt yourself?