Ode To You, Just You And Only You

Its high time I let you go
to let you fall away
with everything else,
on my knees,
I cannot breathe,
even your memory
takes my breath away,
leaving me
slightly more empty,
a toxic love always dies young,

I'm waiting for whomever is writing our book
to go back and fix what happened
a rewrite of our fate
but I know that can never happen,
hence my deep resentment of hope,
I have killed you in many poems and stories
you die a different way every time
perhaps it's easier for me to imagine you dead
then to admit the truth, that you live,
happily married now and a daddy,
and I am still cemented to a fantasy

this is it,
the day I let you go
and let myself live, and feel
maybe even, dare I say it, love again
although never as madly or intensely,
and I still cant help thinking,
prescription pills changed our destiny
but fuck it, today I have to let you go
let your memory rest where it should,
in the bottom of my heart,
you stupid little mind consuming fuck.