Unprepared

Entry for Depression competition

(about post natal depression, coping with a newborn and 2 year old)  

With intent of the innocent
words scorch like fire.
An unconditional love
has brought us to this.  

My nerves are in tatters,
from sharp indifference
and unwanted conflict.
Fear and panic consume me.  

As their crying escalates,
I gasp for serenity.
Surrender me to the dark,
where I can no longer feel.  

The small one is violent
and shouts for my breast;
with casual disregard
of maternal suffering.  

I am not good enough,
they'll take them away;
and I'll end my life
crying over spilt milk.