Tracing the Thoughts

I followed you on Tumblr,
reading your archives
and looking into your story.

I followed you backwards,
back track creeping your work
and looking back for months
through all the places you had been

and even followed those back
for several generations
and I saw that you had
encoded your work
in all your reblogging
with a self-consciously revealing pattern
of picking things
that were safe and predictable

and then you would toss in things
that were off the wall
to throw me off the trail,
but I was relentless
and tracked you like a bloodhound
and understood your essence
and saw the nature
of your self-rejection

and the need you have
to be known to someone
who will really appreciate you
and yet to filter out the creeps
who you are not attracted to

and it is both a scary thing
and an inner hope beyond all reason
that you will meet someone
who can answer all your questions

and not pose a threat
or make a mess of everything
you hope to build
in the short time we all have
in the shadow of the moonless night
with the flashlights of our healing.

runningturtle87