Yesterday's fire

The flames flicker and burn
The heat raises and the smoke churns
Then shit goes haywire
And god help us all
For were about to light it up
Only saved by the invisible
Water that falls
Chaos and noise cover my voice
Frozen, standing still
I watch it with my jaw to the ground
In front of me the craziness swallows the normal sounds
I'm just another person in the crowd
I step forward into stance
I'll fight it pound to pound
I'll live it
Give it a chance
I love it
The chaos is familiar to see
I need it
It's the only reassurance I'm me
It serves me nothing productively
But insures my entrapment
Fears my release
I'm wild with the fire that burns in me
And the flames that rage from my inner being
Shade cannot cover my soul
But it can distract from my eyes the heat that follows
Bellows and wallows
Yesterday's fire
Quickly forgotten tomorrow

The skin blisters
The layers come off one by one
And the pain is still real
No protection has been won
And I'll dive in the open water
To heal my skin
But the inside layers
Are delicately thin
I'm fucked
It's the brilliance within
That makes it become reality
Makes me live what's already been lived
I run to what I think is protection
But it's my own cleverly crazy reflection
I've just realised all this time
I've been running the wrong bloody direction
I could u turn run back to the flames
Or stand statue like I am now in my crazy ass haze
Or just do loops
Lost in this maze
One or the other
I'm fucked either way
So I'll stay transfixed for another day
The sun rises
I open my eyes
It was not real
But all twisted lies
I dreamed another dream
Where the fire runs wild
I slept another night
With childish fright
It's clear to me now how I make this right
I pray for my self
My eyes closed tight
Please lord watch over me
If your real I cannot see
But your the one they all turn to when shit twist wrongly
And sometimes I have to admit defeat
For all I'm asking is a peaceful nights sleep