The Amazing Mr. Dundat

I have a new Indian neighbour  
A man of most intriguing flavour  
Excitedly he tells of his adventures  
Spittle flying from his dentures  
As he relates most wondrous tales  
Of finding gold mines deep in Wales  
 
If you've been somewhere he’s been too  
Done twice as much as me and you  
He’s been the captain of a jet  
Then he retrained as a vet  
Chased pirates on the China seas  
Brought drug barons to their knees  
 
Strangled giant snakes in French Guiana  
Whilst he was fishing for piranha  
Then he flew down to Brazil  
To wrestle crocodiles for a thrill  
He left me with my mouth agape  
He’d saved HM the Queen from rape  
 
Taught Kung Fu to the SAS  
He’s an honorary Major in their mess  
Then this most amazing man  
Was part of NASA’s space programme  
He could be called there very soon  
To lead a secret mission to the moon  
 
Now at the age of fifty two  
There’s not much left for him to do  
So he moved in next door to me  
He thought I needed company  
And the name of this stupendous prat?  
I call him Mr. Bindair Dundat